Why you should talk about Sex and Sexuality with your Ma and Pa

Mum and Pa <3

Mum and Pa ❤

 

I very clearly remember this one time my father, my sister and I were watching ‘Gladrags Supermodel Hunt’ on television  way back in 2003-04 or probably before that and they had a swimwear round. So they had all the men and women parading down the ramp in thongs and under-wears and there was suddenly a strange awkwardness in the room. My sister and I looked at each other and my father quickly changed the channel. And I guarantee you this is the story of every middle-class Indian’s household. We never spoke about sex. In fact till the time I was fourteen I still thought sex was a bad word and should be never brought up in a conversation. So now you know I grew up real slow!

When I came out to my parents before my nineteenth birthday, I remember my father smiling at me. But it was his usual nervous smile. He didn’t know how to react. My mother on the other hand was very vocal about her disbelief in her son’s sexuality, condemning it at once and went all berserk saying, “This is all the result of those English films you watch all the time. It’s the Western culture getting into your system.” Then followed those months of crying and cribbing over how God had been so unkind to her and unjust with her and no willingness to accept any logical explanation to her crazy list of questions. Their denial was the toughest part. It was frustrating and I couldn’t believe the fact that it was happening to me? An openly gay guy at his college who’s never let anyone bully him and has strongly asserted his sexuality with pride? But interestingly for the first time in years, my father wanted to talk about sex with me. We had a very long conversation where he brought up topics I would’ve never in my wildest dreams thought of him to be talking about with me. It was insane! We spoke about sex, sexuality, attraction, masturbation to pornography. And I’m so glad he did! But he wished for only one thing from me- to never write about my sexuality openly on a social networking platform, which was impossible for me to do but I totally appreciated the fact that he was only being a protective father. But I also got a very genuine advice from a teacher who asked me to never give up on my parents no matter how politically incorrect their arguments were.

I really wouldn’t have ever expected how wonderfully my father stood beside me every time I was in a fix during the entire phase of me preparing for Mr. Gay World. He held my hand and walked me through the toughest times, gave me a hug when I needed it the most, helped me emotionally and financially without even questioning me twice. Neither of my parents ever questioned me when they saw my pictures in a swimwear, which honestly is a big deal given how we grew up. Coming Out is difficult anywhere in the world and more so for our parents who have grown up in a hetero-normative society. Be real patient with your parents, respect them for who they are because the only people who will stand beside you when you’re in a fix are your parents with their undying support and belief in you. Words fail to express how grateful I am to my parents. They truly are the real support-system in my life and I’m so very blessed to have them.

 

Love and Light

Anwesh

12 Things 2015 Taught Me about Life

IMG_5447.jpg

I did this picture with Savi for her college magazine. So much fun every time we do pictures together. :’)

 

2015 has by far been the most fulfilling and secure year of my life. I happily walked out of a relationship where I wasn’t an equal with my head held high, became fully aware of how I can’t make everyone happy in the world, met complete strangers in life who brightened my day up at once, made friends almost instantly who went on to become my closest set of friends and finally realized how sometimes in life some things can mean so much to you that you’re literally ready to give it all that you have.  Here’s a roundup of the twelve lessons I learned in 2015 about life:

  1. I had a lot of fun, and it isn’t fun.
  2. You can be the sweetest peach in the world, but there’s still going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches.
  3. Grow up, never become an adult. Adults are boring. If you are always trying way too hard to be normal you’ll never know how amazing you can be.
  4. There’s always going to be someone a lot better than you, someone a lot more talented than you are, and someone who has been working a lot harder than you have. And that’s exactly why one should never stop pushing oneself to get better.
  5. Allow me to quote Paulo Coelho here, “And, when you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you achieve it”. ‘nuf said!
  6. Don’t wait for life to be perfect. What you have right now is perfection. If you don’t value what you have today, you’ll never learn to value it tomorrow. Don’t wait for your life to get back on track. Make the best of what you have right now. There’s always something wonderful today, that you might not have tomorrow.  The glass is never half empty. It is always full-half with water and the other half with air.
  7. Life is service. Service is joy. We’re all here to make a difference. You don’t necessarily have to change the world, but you can always do your bit and the universe will take care of itself.
  8. Experiment! Not everything in life has to lead to something. Don’t be scared to take risks in life. Remember, if someone has done it, you can do it too. If someone hasn’t done it yet, then you should definitely do it. Take a chance, follow your instincts. You’re going to walk out of it stronger and wiser than ever.
  9. You’re not going to be always right. Don’t let your pride over-shine you. Make your mistakes, and more importantly accept them. That’s the only way you’ll learn to correct them.
  10. Never stop learning. Like ever!
  11. You deserve all the happiness on earth. Work hard, be good, and let yourself be a good student, your life will be a great teacher.
  12. Life is magic. And don’t you dare stop believing in magic!

 

Love and Light

The Effeminare