Better than *Me*

DSC03409.jpg

My favorite picture of the lot today. Had the honor of being shot by Ara Alexander. Wonder woman at its best!

A little excerpt from what I’d written back in December while I was preparing for Mr Gay World India, and I’d asked myself “What if it doesn’t work that way?” and this came out of that:

“The biggest problem with us is that we don’t let ourselves accept the fact that it can also happen the other way; that there is a possibility of things clicking. This can’t happen to me because I’m too poor, I’m too under confident, I’m too fat or too thin, I did not grow up in that part of the world, I did not grow up in that era, I can’t think that way because I’m not a writer or that I’m too young or too old. What you heard that other person say is that other person’s story and his/her circumstances. You don’t have to wait for your life to imitate every aspect of that person’s life. What you have to yourself right now is the only thing that matters. And try and achieve your goal a little every day of your life. Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to hit you. This very moment you’re reading this could be the perfect moment for you to start something new and exciting. I have a goal because I let myself dream and not even once let myself tell me how it might not happen. Another thing that initially stopped me from giving things a try was my fear of failure. And in the process I realized how failure is in fact  failing to try. If you try and keep fighting all odds, you’re already a winner. Once you start trying there’s another fear you have to tackle-the fear of the unknown. I’m trying and I don’t know if it’s going to lead me that way. But what if it does? And there is a possibility that it doesn’t work that way. But you need to remind yourself constantly that it is still okay for it to not work the way you wanted it to be. Maybe you have something better in store for you?”

One of the reasons why I wanted to be a part of Mr Gay World was so that I could meet more people in life, get to know more varied perspectives and learn and evolve as an individual through the entire process. And while things have worked out pretty well for me, one of the things I’d never expected was how mind bogglingly my relationship with my parents has strengthened through the entire course of Mr Gay World India and beyond. My father and I don’t speak very often, and every time we spoke, we’d end up discussing our extreme opinions with respect to my career choices. I am a dreamer at heart, and I really do want to experiment madly with my life and push myself as much as I can, while my father would insist on me being a little more practical.  Bruce Springsteen had once said, “More than rich, more than famous, more than be happy, I just want to be great!”, and I would totally want to believe him!

So it was the morning of 25th of January when I wake myself up, get dressed thanks to my partner in crime Ashwini and take an auto to somewhere in Bandra where Darshan, my co-contestant picks me up and we head towards Sky Café near Church gate after me having puked in his cab and then forgetting to throw the paper bag out. Almost four hours later I was Mr. Gay World India 2016 and I was absolutely numb. I wanted to be ecstatic, but I was so numb and more importantly so anxious of what the future had in store for me. The week after was all the more over-whelming with me giving interviews everyday and not having enough time to talk to myself and make myself believe that a little dream of mine had actually come true. And I was back in Mumbai a little more than a week after for the Mumbai Pride and it couldn’t have been better. I was made to feel so special, meeting all the people I had someday dreamt of meeting and it was all happening in front of me. Wow! But a part of me still felt pretty empty. And I realized why as I sat down to finally talk to myself after cleaning my ever-so-messy room. The only person I have to compete with is myself! I would’ve never grown as an individual had I been sitting with my phone swiping through pictures of the ever-so-perfect people I follow on Instagram. I only had to be better than what I was. And that’s exactly what I’m planning to take with me to Malta- the best of Anwesh.

Peace out.

 

The Mouse I share my room with

Nothing beats the happiness of a semester that has just ended. No really, it’s been a tough semester and I know I’ve grown stronger with the end of this one. It is no less than a war fighting assignments, projects and the one and half hour long lectures every semester. Engineering is no funny business. I’ve cried for hours struggling with the academics, I have tried hard at every lab exam I had to attend, noting down values I wouldn’t understand, practicing math equations I would hardly follow, but I tried. I’ve learned a lot from my eighteen year old self in the first semester who did not have much to look forward to but still clinged on to the little hope he had and religiously did his academics, studied till late at night and woke up at 6:30 in the morning to catch an hour and a half long metro to college and gave a dreadful exam where he was asked to implement a clock on Verilog he had no idea of and then went on to implement fancy muxes on a breadboard and made it through his final lab exam. I have no idea how I did it, may be the fact that I was done with one of my eight semesters made me happy. But I know it’ll continue to empower me. And I always pray to God to give me enough strength to fight all such wars in the future and never stop learning. Because learning is the only way we’re going to get better.

So while I had paid for a single seater this semester, I have been provided one with a little mouse running around eating my almonds. I used to try real hard getting him out of my room. Onions, deodorants (I don’t know why I used that), and every possible home remedy you name and I have tried. But that is one hell of a resilient (or stubborn?) mouse that simply wouldn’t go. And now I’ve just gotten so accustomed to him being around that I just cannot get a mice poison from the market to kill him. He’s sorta cute. Anyway I haven’t been able to make illustrations for almost a month now owing to my busy schedule due to my multiple projects, final assignments, photoshoots (I’ll let you know why I have been working on them)  and exams. But I will be back to business. So let the December begin.

Sneak peek into the pictures I did with Savi for her college magazine.

IMG_20151202_120917

 

IMG_5384

 

Love and Light,

The Effeminare ❤

 

 

 

Aravani Welcomes the Fall!

Jeremy

This week Aravani is singing the song of love as her favorite season of the year #Fall is almost here. She’s dressed in her favorite dress from the most fun and colorful @itsjeremyscott SS 16 ❤💕 collection straight from the runway and she’s feeling no less than a star. 🎆

Remember the admirer we talked about in the last post? Hasn’t turned up since a fortnight. Does the possibility of love seem dwindling down the air?

A lot of the people have been asking me what the entire series is all about. So I’ve planned to release short Instagram videos for all my three characters in the future posts. You can always keep track of the series by using the hashtags. I’ve worked them all out and there shouldn’t be any issues either on the blog or on my Instagram account. ❤

Also it’s officially Fall! I obviously love fall for obvious reasons. It’s fun, it’s exciting, there are pretty leaves all around and you can finally dress in layers, which is absolutely awesome. Loads of amazing posts coming your way. So stay tuned and paws up!

Peace in! ❤

It’s a Yes!

Man3

Recap: The Effeminare man was at his boyfriend’s sister’s wending last week and was about to meet his to-be in-laws for the first time. How did it go?

And it’s a yes! They were so happy to meet him and they couldn’t be happier that they’ve found each other. It’s all clicking so well. Seems like a dream already. So what’s next on the cards? Marriage? Not so soon! Stay Tuned.

CognoOfTheWeek:

Sometimes I feel like homosexuals or perhaps the queer community in general could be the most homophobic group of people and that’s exactly why we so need to teach our kids about alternate sexuality, other than the fact that currently we’re not exactly doing a very good job providing them with proper sex education. If you might have watched Caitlyn Jenner’s interview on Ellen, you can clearly tell that a part of her is still a Republican, and she’s not exactly okay with the concept of same-sex marriage. I will be posting something on the same lines in my future posts. Oh also, I have my exams from the coming week, so wish me luck! And I might not be able to post something new in the coming week, but you know I am gonna make up for it. 😉

Peace in. ❤

Did she fall in LOVE?

Mor

It’s only their second date and things seem to be clicking for ‘The Effeminare Woman’ like never before. He’s understanding, is intelligent and more importantly is interested in listening to her. Are things going way too quick, or is it okay to speed it up when you know it’s working? Can you really fall in love with someone in just a week? Stay Tuned. She wanted to feel feminine and sporty all at the same time as she started getting ready for her second date. And to her rescue came the ever-so-stylish Shaurya from @morphologyblog. Don’t you just love the printed blue with a pop of pink jacket?! ❤ Because ‘The Effeminare Woman’ always wants to get it right no matter what.  So I’ll be using the hash tag #Effeminared on my Instagram account from now on when I recreate a look so that you guys can keep a track of all the fashionable people around. Some amazing looks I’ve come across lately, not just from bloggers, but also on the street, and some people from my college. Loads of looks to recreate, so you’ll have to keep up with my work. Stay Tuned.

Also I have a performance today which I’m pretty excited about. Let’s see how it all works out. I’ll post a video on YouTube though. 😉 Now wish me luck. And Paws up! 🙂

Peace in.

The Time He Went to Meet His Parents

Gallery

This gallery contains 1 photo.

So this week “The Effeminare Man” is going to attend his boyfriend’s sister’s wedding and therefore he’ll be meeting his boyfriend’s family for the first time. While he’s pretty nervous about it, he made sure his fashion game is still … Continue reading

When Aravani got herself a club for Queers

12

Aravani is obsessed with Asifa Lahore and following in her footsteps, Aravani has opened up a night club exclusively for the Queer community in Delhi where she often performs. She has also been helping some teenagers finding it difficult to come out by taking time out of her schedule and meeting and talking to them personally. Meanwhile she’s found some admirers in the club. But there’s someone she finds pretty interesting. Who is he and what is he like? Stay Tuned to know more. Much Love ❤

I think a few weeks ago I came across Asifa Lahore’s hilarious music video Jimmy which is a remake of Mia’s Jimmy, which itself is a remake of Mithun’s popular song from the eighties- Jimmy! Jimmy! JImmy! Aaja! Aaja! Aaja! Remember? Anyways, that sort of took me to all of the most inspiring interviews of this incredible man named Asif Qureshi for whom drag is more than just gaudy makeup and clothes, it is a way of life. Asifa Lahore is one of the first out drag queens and how! A recent documentary of hers (that was showed on Channel 4 in the UK) was widely talked about. She talks about how she gets mails from troubled teenagers trying to fit in, to hate mails with people telling her how she’s a disgrace to the Muslim community and that she must be killed. But here she is, living her life proudly as a Muslim drag and fab. More power to people like her.

Peace in.

Dates and a Feature. Yay!

Image

Aashna

The Effeminare woman has just walked out of a passionate relationship, and after days of confusion she’s finally made her mind to go out on a date. What is the guy going to be like? State Tuned!

Also she has been missing her friend Aashna for a long time now and felt like recreating one of her favorite looks of Aashna. Because this girl be one of the most beautiful human being she’s ever met. Major major missing happening. Let’s hope she makes time soon and meets her up in the coming days.

And now for the more exciting part! This week “The Effeminare” series has been featured on The Yellow Sparrow’s Official Facebook and Instagram page. I am a huge fan of their page and to get featured meant the world to me. You can find the same on their Facebook page here. Paws up!

This is what it looks like on Instagram:

Aah! What awesome projects we are coming across on #chirptys.
Check out @anwesh_sahoo project- “the effimnare”. In a tete-e-tete, he told @theyellowsparrow
“One of the first reasons why I started the series was because we don’t celebrate alternate sexuality a lot in India. To be able to celebrate sexuality, we need to embrace it first. When I was about to start college I was pretty scared of how the guys around would treat me in an engineering college, where most of the crowd is male dominated. But when I started talking to them about it and told them how normal things are, they accepted me and respected me for my true-self. I realized that all the phobia we associate with the queer community is mostly a result of unawareness. I’ve almost grown up watching Pattachitra (a folk art form from Odisha) all around me, and something inside me told me that art could be an amazing medium to create awareness leading us towards acceptance. And that’s how ‘The Effeminare’ series happened.” Hop onto his handle and check out the other illustrations.

IMG_20150828_122843

Peace in. 🙂

Recreating My Favorite Looks #2

OdiyaBride

I think everyone who knows me, knows it pretty well that I’m obsessed with Indian clothes, textiles, accessories and fashion. So this week I re-created something extremely close to my heart- my mum as a twenty-one year old bride. She’s always told both me and my sister how she always wished that her ceremony was shot as a video, and that she had more accessories to wear. But trust me, she looked nothing less than stunning in that bright violet colored sari (a very un-conventional choice of color given how most Indian brides are obsessed with the color red), with a gold zari border and pretty white-tube-roses woven together and twirled around the bun. Odiya people love the color gold and weddings are incomplete without gold bangles, earrings and neck-pieces. That is one picture of hers that has always stayed with me and will continue to in the days to come. I’m not sure if a lot of people know this, but while henna is worn by a lot of brides these days all over India, traditionally alta was worn extensively by women in the eastern states of India during festivities. I love alta. It sort of just brightens up the entire look of an individual. Alta is a red colored liquid which was made out of lac insects earlier. But nowadays synthetic colors are mostly used for making alta. Women also wore a white colored liquid called shringar that smells like heaven on their forehead drawn usually in the shapes of creepers with little flowers and leaves or just a series of dots ending as a flower.

Stay tuned for the next set of looks I’ll be coming up with in the next couple of weeks. Loads of stuff coming your way.

Peace in.

Recreating My Favorite Looks #1

Whimsy

The Effeminare Woman is a true blue fashionista at heart and she thought of recreating one of her favorite looks by the blogger Whimsy Tales this week. She’ll be recreating many more looks in the coming days and for that you’ll have to keep a track of all the work she’s up to. So stay tuned.

Got this pretty scarf from Nizamuddin Dargah this week. The food there is just yum! Took this pic while everybody was flying all their pretty kites and I was doing what I am the best at. #ClickingSelfies

Got this pretty scarf from Nizamuddin Dargah this week. The food there is just yum! Took this pic while everybody was flying all their pretty kites and I was doing what I am the best at. #ClickingSelfies

Also had a pretty fun weekend with all the kite flying we had yesterday after my performance at the Independence Day. But the problem is the fact that I don’t feel like studying anymore. 😛 Wanna get through the academics of this semester as soon as possible. >_<

Peace in.