About The Effeminare

I am a voracious writer, optimist and a lover of old-school Indian art, music and fashion. While I’d like to believe that I’m a firm believer in practicality, a part of me loves living in a world of possibilities. That’s exactly what "The Effeminare" is all about. A parallel universe where I get to be an illustrator and draw a Utopian world I want to be a part of. I do look at my life as a thrilling mystery novel written by God and since the novel has only started, I’d go with- ‘I am still evolving’!

The Indelible Muck

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To one incredible year of being Mr. Gay World India, 2016. The B/W pictures were shot in Malta, Europe during the pageant by Bradley Secker. You can find more of Bradley’s work here.

 

When I’d started off Effeminare back in 2014, (amidst all the resistance that there was) I believed that if I could reach out to even one individual, then that would be enough. While walking through the stats for my November post, I realized my posts have reached 38 countries ranging from Canada, USA, Netherlands, Germany, Guernsey, Belgium, Italy, France, Qatar, UAE, Seychelles, South Africa, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal to Japan. I honestly hadn’t heard the names of a few of those countries, and I’m very sorry that I hadn’t. I made it a point to locate the ones I didn’t on the map, and read about them.  And, if you’ve read my posts, a big THANK YOU! It means the world to me that you made the time to hear my story and I hope that you’ll keep coming back and keep sharing the love. Looking back, I still can’t decipher what had gotten into my 18 year old-self, that made me so headstrong, so I wrote anyway. Back in the day, that it was ‘difficult’ would be an understatement. Nobody around me spoke of homosexuality and I never looked for refuge on the Internet, mostly because I hardly used social media. The only gay man I’d met was a hostel-mate from the same batch. His world was my door to the world of homosexuality- from music, to films, to literary works, it was insane! I’d sit in my room and watch hours of Freddie Mercury on the Internet. I really am obsessed with Mercury, his audacity gave me the power to own my sexuality. It’s been 3 and a half years since, I’ll complete my graduation this summer (that’s also if I don’t fail any of my courses this sem!), and I’m definitely not a naive 18 year old anymore, who’d walked into IIIT knowing nothing about the world. However, I’ll always be very proud of that 18 year-old who simply believed and was persistent. I’ll never and I really hope that I never let go off that 18 year-old within me.

I also want to thank each one of you who has reached out to me through all these months. While I haven’t been able to reply to each one of them, I’m extremely over-whelmed to receive all the love and support I have and I really hope you will continue to keep up with the same. Effeminare also began with a belief that I’ll get to share the positivity and joy that I’d experienced when I came out. I’ll be 22 this July and I still can’t process the fact that I’ll complete six years of coming out. So much has happened in these past six years, and I honestly can’t wait to finish my graduation and finally move into something I truly have always wanted to do. I’m still not giving out what it will be, but I can assure you, it is my happy space and I hope that it turns out well. 🙂 I’ve also had an incredibly busy past year, I’ve had the opportunity of seeing the world a little more and I’ve been my busiest self on the social media. Those who’ve been following me prior to Mr. Gay World India, also know that I’m not a very social media savvy person. To be very honest, I still feel like there’s nothing in the world that I’m best at. I feel a little empty artistically and I have soo much to learn, I would really want to gift myself that time and space for the next two years. While I’m very happy to see how well ‘Fitting Out’ has performed and how well it has reached people, it has also been a financially difficult year for me (despite of all the financial help I had from my family and colleagues). I’d be lying if I say I don’t think over a hundred times before spending my money over anything. I’m still a 21 year old student, and no matter what, I can never take up a well-paying job at this point of time with the strict academic curriculum of IIIT, which not to mention is doubly hard for me since I don’t have a strong aptitude for Electronics. I understand that money isn’t everything, but as Shah Rukh Khan had very rightly said, “There’s nothing romantic about being poor.” The work that I do opt for with the limited time I have, is enough as pocket money, but definitely not enough to pay my bills yet. So yes, I think I’ve found my true calling and I’m surely going to prioritize focusing and building a set of skills in my field of interest so I could also keep up with my campaigning, something that really drives me. I know how deep down within, no matter what work I take up tomorrow, I’ll always spare a part of it to a cause I truly believe in.

So coming to why I’d started writing this post! I’ve often heard people talking about why do I write about acceptance for the LGBTIQ community so much, or that I nag and correct people every time they make a derogatory joke. To add to that, it saddens me to see that four years since I joined IIIT and came out, I still continue to be the only out homosexual in our institute. I’ve seen students around at least make an effort to keep a check on their speech because I was around, I wonder if that’ll happen once I graduate this year. A couple of days back I’d posted on Instagram, a screenshot of some male chauvinism going around in the comments’ section to one of my belly dancing videos. I’m not going to post it here again, because I don’t want any of that filthy conversation on my blog. I was amazed by how the two boys had nothing but random cuss words to throw at people who tried rectifying them, and to add to that they were also verbally abusive and didn’t spare my girlfriends.

I have absolutely no issues dealing with hate on the social media or otherwise. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with hate and homophobia, and unfortunately this won’t be the last either. Then why did I choose to speak out this time, you ask? I’m not on any self-healing journey by posting about the conversation here. The reason why we sometimes need to speak out, is so that we can let such people know that they are wrong, because unfortunately most people don’t. When you don’t speak out, you are actually fostering their thought process. What bothers me, is that these two boys are the face of a larger popular mindset that has grown on patriarchy and don’t have the balls to face the fact that they are in fact wrong. What’s worse than making a mistake, is not accepting the same. That they don’t have an ounce of regret and the audacity to write such filth on the social media is indicative of the venomous generic attitude our society has been fostering. Are we really teaching our boys well enough? Are we really making them sensitive enough towards individuals other than their own kind? Would these boys really grow up to respect the women in their lives? What if tomorrow their children come out to them as LGBTIQ? Will those children have a safe environment to grow up in? Think of these questions when next time you ask me why I chose to speak out, and perhaps why you should too.

Peace out.

 

Ugly Enough to be Mr. Gay World India

I don’t think I would’ve ever thought about writing an article about this, especially months after having been through the sort of Internet bullying I was subjected to, not that it made me feel any less fabulous about myself (mostly because I honestly don’t give a fuck). But I’m very well aware of what the general mentality of the entire gay community in our country is like and you might not know, but you could be affecting someone else’s self-esteem majorly and you really shouldn’t. I was blessed enough to have a childhood where my parents never told either of me or my sister that we had to be fair enough and well-built enough and good-looking enough to achieve our dreams in life. Neither of us were insecure of the way we looked, or wished for our butts to be bigger, for our noses to be longer and sharper, or for our jaw lines to be more well-defined to be successful in our life. However, the only thing we were time and again reminded of was how we had to be more focused, how we must meditate to concentrate better and never stop learning to be better versions of ourselves. But interestingly, not many of us seem to have been taught of any of this through all those years we managed to exist. Minutes after I won Mr. Gay World India in the month of January, the social media was exploding with, “He’s too ugly to represent our country”, “Oh he didn’t even bother to shave his beard before the pageant”, “He’s too dark to represent me!”, “India couldn’t find a hotter representative?” I laughed them all off! And I’m not trying to be my beauty pageant politically correct self here. Not one bit! If you know me, you’d also know how head-strong I am when it comes to sticking to my conscience and standing by what is right. And I’ll tell you why it didn’t affect me. Because I was made to feel so small each day I went to school, that nobody could’ve made me feel any lesser about me and my existence. I never expected people to find me beautiful on the outside, because it is hardly what defines me. But in the last couple of days I’ve come across way too many friends of mine who keep telling me how they don’t think they’re beautiful, and that is a problem. The way you look on the outside is nothing more than simple grooming. And all your face lifts and beefed up chests can never compensate for your inner darkness.

 

 

Nobody saw through how Mr. Gay World India and Mr. Gay World challenged traditional notions of beauty and gave everyone the right to feel beautiful about their selves. And why exactly should I feel any less pretty of the way I look? Because I didn’t fit into your stupid fucked up and limited notions of beauty? Or that you couldn’t come out of your virtual world of Grindr and Instagram filters? Come out of your little shell and let yourself be a part of the world of possibilities. Value yourself with the number of great books you’ve read over your WhatsApp texts, or the number of lives you could change for the better over the number of guys/girls you slept with (do it because you want to, not because you want to tell the world how cool your life is over theirs). You are perfect the way God made you and you don’t have to compare yourself with others (even though we’re all guilty of it). Interestingly, while I was being picked on for being way too ugly to represent India, my good friend Esteban, Mr. Gay Argentina 2016 was being picked on for being his muscular self and not being a representative of the average gay men across his country.

We live in a world today where body-image issues make up a huge part of our life, unfortunately, and that is a very dangerous world to live in. If I don’t judge you for the gazillion surgeries and implants you’ve got to achieve your perfect notion of beauty, please refrain from judging me from the surgeries I chose not to get done on myself. He made me beautiful. He made you beautiful. I am beautiful.

Peace out.

 

 

Why you need to learn to say No!

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Picture from yesterday’s event at IIT Delhi in collaboration with Gaylaxy magazine. It was good to meet some very accepting group of people and spreading some Rainbow Love. ❤

 

 

I have been trying to get this out of my system for long now, but let’s just say it has been pretty difficult. In fact to put it in simple words, I’ve been scared to even talk about it, simply because it involves someone so influential and someone who I truly admired and we unfortunately don’t live in a world where we talk as much about men being sexually abused or touched inappropriately. I have read and heard so much about it from friends and my acquaintances that the possibility of it happening to me seemed next to impossible, since I tend to think a lot before making any decision in my life. We’re never taught to tackle such situations in our lives, and many a times we don’t even realize or understand that it has already happened to us. A couple of days back, a friend of mine mentioned how he was in an abusive relationship for long, never realizing that he himself was in one. He said, “Imagine me? A Yale and Harvard graduate and even I didn’t have the sensibility to understand I was being abused!”

Since I won Mr. Gay World India in January this year, I have been working on my campaign ‘Fitting Out’, and very actively meeting influential and inspiring people from the LGBTIQ community. While it it has been a very fulfilling and enriching experience for me, needless to say, I also very often get approached by men to spend a night with them, which I can only politely refuse to. Only days after I won the title, I very well understood how difficult it is to carry the responsibility of winning a crown and the hard work and constant dedication that goes into living up to your role as the reigning Mr. Gay World India, which is all the more tough since I’m still in college. Every time I meet someone officially, I prefer talking to them at their office with people around or at a busy coffee shop or a market place. A few days back, I went to meet one of these many officials to discuss a possible collaboration and an awareness campaign with respect to the LGBTIQ community. Let’s call this official Mr. X. Mr. X happens to be an influential and wealthy figure in the community, and like I mentioned, happened to be someone I truly admired. I received a text asking me to meet him at his hotel room late at night for a longer conversation. I had met Mr. X prior to this one very briefly, and I was very happy with the idea of a possible collaboration. With sheer respect for him and his time, I agreed to meet him at his mentioned time, which I honestly would’ve never agreed to had it been anyone else. And while all this happened, not even once did it ever strike me that he could ever have any other intentions other than just an official meet. Another reason why it also never struck me was because Mr. X happens to be married and is older than my father (which on a second thought shouldn’t have stopped me from thinking otherwise). He had also mentioned that he was going to reach the city late and therefore had asked me to visit him at that time. So I went up to meet him, where we exchanged ideas related to our respective campaigns. I went to wash my hands and we were still talking while I was in the washroom when I felt his hands fondling my hair and touching me at the back of my neck. I was instantly uncomfortable. Moments later I find his arms around me, with him trying to kiss my ears. I was shocked, so grossed out by his behavior, and honestly so scared that I didn’t even know how I could’ve pushed him away.  A series of questions ran through my mind, “What is he trying to do to me?”,“How can he even think of doing this to me?”, “How can I raise my voice?”, “But he’s simply too powerful!” I finally gathered the courage and said, “I have to leave!” and rushed out of the room. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know who to talk to. I called an Uber and went back home. I couldn’t get his smell off of me. I kept blaming myself for what had happened. How could have I been so naïve? How could someone of his stature do this to me? How can I speak out being a man? I was appalled by his behavior and with time realized how lucky I was to have walked out of it safe and sound. I’m also very grateful for the friends, my family and my mentors who have supported me through this.

It is only when it happens to you that you understand the trauma and dejection you feel when you undergo such situations in life. I can only imagine the hardships that individuals who’ve been sexually abused for years (by the most unexpected people) go through.  I shared my story with a couple of my friends and realized I wasn’t alone. A friend of mine mentioned how her tuition teacher would try touching her breasts every time she went to his class, another mentioned how this guy she was kissing once, suddenly started forcing himself on her and wouldn’t let her go when she refused. But something else was common to all our stories. We did not know how to refuse. We didn’t know how we could’ve stopped what was happening to us. We, especially the men are never taught to deal with such situations. Perhaps, one of the ways we could stop it is by speaking out? Go to someone who you believe. Be strong and courageous and don’t let anyone else touch you without your consent. While reading more stories online, I came across this incredible quote by a writer named Miri:

“Just like you wouldn’t touch a bag or a purse that belongs to someone else, don’t touch a body that belongs to someone else–which, by definition, is every body except your own.”

 

Peace out.

| Why we should all be Humanists |

Art Love

 

The recent attack on Pulse, a gay bar in Orlando has been immensely shocking and devastating and has been a huge jolt to the LGBTIQA community from the entire world. Enough speculations have been made on how the attacker was a closeted homosexual and had been a regular at Pulse himself. But the attack is a reminder of how we are falling short in making the world aware of our presence and why we too deserve a life of respect, dignity and above all a safer environment.

Almost everyday as I woke up in the last couple of days, I’d come across the story of an innocent gay man or a wonderful couple who lost their lives in this deadly massacre- the worst the US has ever seen. But what breaks my heart even more is how all of this is the result of a single ignorant man who was probably unable to come to terms with his own sexuality or his shallow pride and took to guns to bring an end to his own turmoil. It’s a shame we have to deal with such issues in 2016, almost forty years since Harvey Milk stood up for our rights and eventually died fighting for them. I really am not sure if we can in any possible way change the thought-processes of millions of stubborn minds out there. Sometimes it is futile for us to think that they could get some sense into their lives and you really can’t do much about it because well, people are rigid! When you’ve lived half or more than half of your life believing in something so strongly and then suddenly someone comes up to you and tells you, “Well you know what? You’ve been wrong all along!”, there simply is no way for them to give in! For example, no matter how much I could try and talk to my parents, they’d never be okay with pre-marital sex. My mum went berserk when she saw 7 condoms from Love My Condom gifted to me by Bernie- Mr. Gay New Zealand and then went all the more crazy when she saw a post I’d shared on Facebook with a picture of those condoms. I might have given my 200% to change their mindsets but if you yourself are not willing to, then there’s really nothing that I or you could do about it. But there’s a solution. We can make sure that our future generation doesn’t have to suffer. We can teach our kids at school that there is so much more to gender than just the existence of a man and a woman and that is okay to blur that line between the two, that it is okay for a guy to dress up in skirt and wear heels, that it is okay for a woman to not want to wear a bra and ride a bike, that it is okay for you to not want to be a man or a woman. I’m extremely happy to see the rise of feminism in the world. The rise of the concept of how men and women must be treated equally and given equal opportunities to learn and prosper in their respective lives. We do have a long way to go, especially in India where a substantial chunk of the female population knows nothing of what feminism is or stands for, but there’s hope and I choose to be optimistic.

But I’m here to talk about the people who don’t exactly fit into these two distinct categories of men and women. And there’s a lot of them. Enough for us to know and understand who they really are and why we need to talk about them. It’s sorta funny when I sit back and think about this issue. Mankind has existed for 200,000 years and the human civilization as we know it has been there for 6000 years yet we have failed miserably to understand our very own-self.  Just think over it. 6000 years of civilization and we’re still fighting for equal rights for women, half of my country still doesn’t know what homosexuality is and a major chunk of  the ones who know haven’t been able to grow out of their pea-sized brains to accept us for who we are, and let’s not even get to the stigma and the trauma that trans-individuals go through every f*cking day of their lives! The fact that it is so difficult for me to reach out to schools and persuade them to let me speak on sexuality and understand gender beyond the concept of a man and a woman is enough to prove the plight of every LGBTIQ individual in the world. We have manged to create the most ridiculous myths and stories around what God wants us to do, but have failed to understand the very foundation of God’s existence- love, care and acceptance. I wish there was a thing that would enable us to swap our lives for a day. I’m not even asking for more, just that one single day! And we’ll see what they’ll have to say then. All that you need to be happy is an open mind, a book and loads of hope. But look at how we’ve complicated our lives! I only wish for us to be humanists. Equal rights and opportunities for all of us human beings irrespective of our gender identity or sexual orientation. Let us all be humanists.

 

Love and Light

Anwesh ❤

Why you should talk about Sex and Sexuality with your Ma and Pa

Mum and Pa <3

Mum and Pa ❤

 

I very clearly remember this one time my father, my sister and I were watching ‘Gladrags Supermodel Hunt’ on television  way back in 2003-04 or probably before that and they had a swimwear round. So they had all the men and women parading down the ramp in thongs and under-wears and there was suddenly a strange awkwardness in the room. My sister and I looked at each other and my father quickly changed the channel. And I guarantee you this is the story of every middle-class Indian’s household. We never spoke about sex. In fact till the time I was fourteen I still thought sex was a bad word and should be never brought up in a conversation. So now you know I grew up real slow!

When I came out to my parents before my nineteenth birthday, I remember my father smiling at me. But it was his usual nervous smile. He didn’t know how to react. My mother on the other hand was very vocal about her disbelief in her son’s sexuality, condemning it at once and went all berserk saying, “This is all the result of those English films you watch all the time. It’s the Western culture getting into your system.” Then followed those months of crying and cribbing over how God had been so unkind to her and unjust with her and no willingness to accept any logical explanation to her crazy list of questions. Their denial was the toughest part. It was frustrating and I couldn’t believe the fact that it was happening to me? An openly gay guy at his college who’s never let anyone bully him and has strongly asserted his sexuality with pride? But interestingly for the first time in years, my father wanted to talk about sex with me. We had a very long conversation where he brought up topics I would’ve never in my wildest dreams thought of him to be talking about with me. It was insane! We spoke about sex, sexuality, attraction, masturbation to pornography. And I’m so glad he did! But he wished for only one thing from me- to never write about my sexuality openly on a social networking platform, which was impossible for me to do but I totally appreciated the fact that he was only being a protective father. But I also got a very genuine advice from a teacher who asked me to never give up on my parents no matter how politically incorrect their arguments were.

I really wouldn’t have ever expected how wonderfully my father stood beside me every time I was in a fix during the entire phase of me preparing for Mr. Gay World. He held my hand and walked me through the toughest times, gave me a hug when I needed it the most, helped me emotionally and financially without even questioning me twice. Neither of my parents ever questioned me when they saw my pictures in a swimwear, which honestly is a big deal given how we grew up. Coming Out is difficult anywhere in the world and more so for our parents who have grown up in a hetero-normative society. Be real patient with your parents, respect them for who they are because the only people who will stand beside you when you’re in a fix are your parents with their undying support and belief in you. Words fail to express how grateful I am to my parents. They truly are the real support-system in my life and I’m so very blessed to have them.

 

Love and Light

Anwesh

A Gender And Sexuality Glossary For Parents

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I’ve always felt that it is extremely important for people to be aware of the vocabulary that is appropriate to use when referring to the LGBTIQ community, more so amongst kids so as to ensure that tomorrow they grow up to become responsible, sensitive and mature citizens of the country. As a result I collaborated with Swaddle– a parenting website for people who don’t like parenting websites. You can read the entire piece here. Here’s a small excerpt from the piece:

“Only a week after I’d won Mr. Gay World India, I received a call from a television channel. During the interview, I was asked whether I was okay with being referred to as the son of Jagannath Sahoo (my father), or whether I was more comfortable being identified as his daughter.

I was taken aback and, to be honest, befuddled. Here was an educated journalist, from a leading news channel, with absolutely no knowledge of the terminology he ought to use to refer to a gay man. The journalist might have thought he was being courteous by letting me choose how I wanted to be identified. But his sheer lack of awareness was insensitive and offensive. I am a gay man. Why would I identify as someone’s daughter?”

Love and Light

Anwesh

Exclusive Interview with Anwesh Sahoo – Mr Gay World India 2016

Had the honor of being being interviewed by TITAN Male Gods. Read the entire interview to know more. ❤ 🙂

TITAN MALE GODs

Very Positive, hardworking and inspirational human being Anwesh Sahoo will Represent India at Mr Gay World 2016.

Following is the conversation we had with him which clearly reflects his dedication towards making a difference.

01) Tell Us something about yourself, Something that Global Pageant Fans would like to know about you.

Answer –  While I’m an engineering student, I’m a true artist at heart. I’m a voracious writer and am obsessed with art in any form, may it be digital art, fashion, or theatre. While I love performing and being on stage, socially sometimes I could be one of the most awkward individuals you would ever come across. Also I love binging on Indian street food, Pani Puri in particular.
Q 02) You are Going to represent India, A country of more than billion people. How does it feels?

Answer – I feel extremely proud to be representing not just…

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Today We Begin

Because I have the most endearing and intelligent set of friends ever who have learned the skill of weaving words into such delightful pieces of art and you should not be missing out on these. Way to go Simran! ❤

LitYard

I am in love with words and the magic of expression. How much? Ironically, to tell you that, I am short on words.

It’s a certain different kind of magic that words weave. And I, like a million others in this world, have been caught in this magic. So beautiful has been its way that it has led me to the answers of questions I never even knew I wanted to ask. Words, put together in a thread of thoughts, have at times disillusioned my mind, while at other occasions gifted me with clarity. They have built me,

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Better than *Me*

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My favorite picture of the lot today. Had the honor of being shot by Ara Alexander. Wonder woman at its best!

A little excerpt from what I’d written back in December while I was preparing for Mr Gay World India, and I’d asked myself “What if it doesn’t work that way?” and this came out of that:

“The biggest problem with us is that we don’t let ourselves accept the fact that it can also happen the other way; that there is a possibility of things clicking. This can’t happen to me because I’m too poor, I’m too under confident, I’m too fat or too thin, I did not grow up in that part of the world, I did not grow up in that era, I can’t think that way because I’m not a writer or that I’m too young or too old. What you heard that other person say is that other person’s story and his/her circumstances. You don’t have to wait for your life to imitate every aspect of that person’s life. What you have to yourself right now is the only thing that matters. And try and achieve your goal a little every day of your life. Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Don’t wait for the perfect moment to hit you. This very moment you’re reading this could be the perfect moment for you to start something new and exciting. I have a goal because I let myself dream and not even once let myself tell me how it might not happen. Another thing that initially stopped me from giving things a try was my fear of failure. And in the process I realized how failure is in fact  failing to try. If you try and keep fighting all odds, you’re already a winner. Once you start trying there’s another fear you have to tackle-the fear of the unknown. I’m trying and I don’t know if it’s going to lead me that way. But what if it does? And there is a possibility that it doesn’t work that way. But you need to remind yourself constantly that it is still okay for it to not work the way you wanted it to be. Maybe you have something better in store for you?”

One of the reasons why I wanted to be a part of Mr Gay World was so that I could meet more people in life, get to know more varied perspectives and learn and evolve as an individual through the entire process. And while things have worked out pretty well for me, one of the things I’d never expected was how mind bogglingly my relationship with my parents has strengthened through the entire course of Mr Gay World India and beyond. My father and I don’t speak very often, and every time we spoke, we’d end up discussing our extreme opinions with respect to my career choices. I am a dreamer at heart, and I really do want to experiment madly with my life and push myself as much as I can, while my father would insist on me being a little more practical.  Bruce Springsteen had once said, “More than rich, more than famous, more than be happy, I just want to be great!”, and I would totally want to believe him!

So it was the morning of 25th of January when I wake myself up, get dressed thanks to my partner in crime Ashwini and take an auto to somewhere in Bandra where Darshan, my co-contestant picks me up and we head towards Sky Café near Church gate after me having puked in his cab and then forgetting to throw the paper bag out. Almost four hours later I was Mr. Gay World India 2016 and I was absolutely numb. I wanted to be ecstatic, but I was so numb and more importantly so anxious of what the future had in store for me. The week after was all the more over-whelming with me giving interviews everyday and not having enough time to talk to myself and make myself believe that a little dream of mine had actually come true. And I was back in Mumbai a little more than a week after for the Mumbai Pride and it couldn’t have been better. I was made to feel so special, meeting all the people I had someday dreamt of meeting and it was all happening in front of me. Wow! But a part of me still felt pretty empty. And I realized why as I sat down to finally talk to myself after cleaning my ever-so-messy room. The only person I have to compete with is myself! I would’ve never grown as an individual had I been sitting with my phone swiping through pictures of the ever-so-perfect people I follow on Instagram. I only had to be better than what I was. And that’s exactly what I’m planning to take with me to Malta- the best of Anwesh.

Peace out.

 

Beautiful You

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The last couple of days have been extremely over-whelming with all the attention, love (mostly) and support I’ve received from the people around me and I will always be very grateful for every bit of it. This is going to be a completely self-introspective post and therefore parts of it might seem completely out of the blue, but I really feel like this is necessary and because it is something I’ve been wanting to share for some time now. I don’t think I ever grew up believing in the importance of self-worth, but over the years I’ve come to learn the importance of the same and I’m glad I did. But something that still bothers me is the way we define beauty standards for ourselves. The way we define beauty for ourselves is sometimes also the way we learn to value ourselves. But the definition is so limited and perhaps sometimes so wrong, especially because of how we are made to perceive beauty in terms of what we watch on our television sets or our social networking feeds or the books that we read, that it needs to change. I’ve mostly grown up with people telling me how dark-skinned I am or how my hair is never perfect or that my demeanor isn’t exactly the way it should be, which for that matter has never bothered me and hopefully never will. But I’m also aware of how it does affect a lot of people out there and that this very fact also needs to change.

Black hair, white skin, abs and long legs aren’t what ‘the perfect beauty’ stands for and never will. That perfect selfie you’ve been drooling over on Instagram is perhaps the best picture out of the hundred pictures that person took from that perfect angle with that perfect filter. Come out of your little shell and let yourself be a part of the world of possibilities. Value yourself with the number of great books you’ve read over your Whatsapp texts, or the number of lives you could change for the better over the number of guys/girls you slept with (do it because you want to, not because you want to tell the world how cool your life is over theirs). You are perfect the way God made you and you don’t have to compare yourself with others (even though we’re all guilty of it).

#rantover #Haveagreatdayahead