Ugly Enough to be Mr. Gay World India

I don’t think I would’ve ever thought about writing an article about this, especially months after having been through the sort of Internet bullying I was subjected to, not that it made me feel any less fabulous about myself (mostly because I honestly don’t give a fuck). But I’m very well aware of what the general mentality of the entire gay community in our country is like and you might not know, but you could be affecting someone else’s self-esteem majorly and you really shouldn’t. I was blessed enough to have a childhood where my parents never told either of me or my sister that we had to be fair enough and well-built enough and good-looking enough to achieve our dreams in life. Neither of us were insecure of the way we looked, or wished for our butts to be bigger, for our noses to be longer and sharper, or for our jaw lines to be more well-defined to be successful in our life. However, the only thing we were time and again reminded of was how we had to be more focused, how we must meditate to concentrate better and never stop learning to be better versions of ourselves. But interestingly, not many of us seem to have been taught of any of this through all those years we managed to exist. Minutes after I won Mr. Gay World India in the month of January, the social media was exploding with, “He’s too ugly to represent our country”, “Oh he didn’t even bother to shave his beard before the pageant”, “He’s too dark to represent me!”, “India couldn’t find a hotter representative?” I laughed them all off! And I’m not trying to be my beauty pageant politically correct self here. Not one bit! If you know me, you’d also know how head-strong I am when it comes to sticking to my conscience and standing by what is right. And I’ll tell you why it didn’t affect me. Because I was made to feel so small each day I went to school, that nobody could’ve made me feel any lesser about me and my existence. I never expected people to find me beautiful on the outside, because it is hardly what defines me. But in the last couple of days I’ve come across way too many friends of mine who keep telling me how they don’t think they’re beautiful, and that is a problem. The way you look on the outside is nothing more than simple grooming. And all your face lifts and beefed up chests can never compensate for your inner darkness.



Nobody saw through how Mr. Gay World India and Mr. Gay World challenged traditional notions of beauty and gave everyone the right to feel beautiful about their selves. And why exactly should I feel any less pretty of the way I look? Because I didn’t fit into your stupid fucked up and limited notions of beauty? Or that you couldn’t come out of your virtual world of Grindr and Instagram filters? Come out of your little shell and let yourself be a part of the world of possibilities. Value yourself with the number of great books you’ve read over your WhatsApp texts, or the number of lives you could change for the better over the number of guys/girls you slept with (do it because you want to, not because you want to tell the world how cool your life is over theirs). You are perfect the way God made you and you don’t have to compare yourself with others (even though we’re all guilty of it). Interestingly, while I was being picked on for being way too ugly to represent India, my good friend Esteban, Mr. Gay Argentina 2016 was being picked on for being his muscular self and not being a representative of the average gay men across his country.

We live in a world today where body-image issues make up a huge part of our life, unfortunately, and that is a very dangerous world to live in. If I don’t judge you for the gazillion surgeries and implants you’ve got to achieve your perfect notion of beauty, please refrain from judging me from the surgeries I chose not to get done on myself. He made me beautiful. He made you beautiful. I am beautiful.

Peace out.



16 Replies to “Ugly Enough to be Mr. Gay World India”

  1. All I could say is you’re beautiful inside out 😊❤️ Not because today you’re Mr gay world India but because I genuinely support you.
    Your journey has been tough and best part of it was:YOU ;yes YOU 😊
    Never let yourself down;bloom no matter what happens ❤️😘 God bless you sweetheart
    Loads of love 😊😊😇😇

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We are proud of our choice. And yes, you are dark. Not the most handsome person on planet earth. You dont even have a 6 pack.

    But you do have somethings that not many of them do – Inner confidence, genuineness and loads of empathy.

    Rise and shine my child.

    I love you

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey anwesh;
    It’s rare to come across someone who knows the balance of both beauty of body and mind. Your reflections here display that you owned both the dimensions not with vanity but earnesty. As far as the potty mouth syndrome goes; i am deaf by choice to critique of my body type and after 36 years of walking this planet yet have people walking upto me and expecting me to toe the lines of appearance and conduct they adhere to. I have both smiled at them silently and cursed them with four letter words as deemed fit in the moment. At the end of it all; it’s just a true zen smile of being happy with myself; being who I am in the moment that matters and has kept me going.

    Bravo; kudos and keep shining – you crazy diamond. Smile at them; kindness kills only those who can’t handle it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Anwesh I don’t know which idiot thinks you’re not good looking! You are beautiful in your thoughts and your appearance. Looks define no one! Its your character that should speak for itself! You have a strong will and that speaks a lot about you..

    My best wishes,

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Loved this article hon! I admire how confident you are at such a young age, I didn’t get confident till I was in my 30s and I still have a long way to go. But back to you, this article will really empower people who have been made to feel ‘less than’ coz of their looks…and not to enter beauty pageants (though if they choose to, then why the hell not)- but it will give them confidence to pursue that guy, girl, job or whatever. To be honest, I feel sorry for the younger generation because I feel with each decade more unrealistic aspects of beauty are pushed through. But its interesting to hear this from a man’s perspective coz I am not so familiar with the challenges you guys face in this area. Ok hon, sending you big hugs. May you forever slay! Bisous

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Biki for always being such a huge support. The way you’ve been slaying is so inspiring to me on a personal level, and I’m sure it is to many like me out there in the world. Sending loads of love your way. Hugs hugs. ❤


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