*Jack for Jill and Everything in Between*

The midsems are over and I’m back to business. 😉

While reading the Facebook posts by SHE- the gender sensitization community by IIT DElhi, I came across this very amazing post on ‘”Power-puff girls’ (which also happened to be my favorite cartoon back then). I had completely forgotten about “HIM”. Perhaps the only transgender character in the cartoons back then. I mean PPG was like so defining the new normal. Girls becoming saviors, a transgender character and then when Mojo-Jojo tries making their male-counterparts, it only gets worse. The boys make chaos all around and the girls trying their best to put it all together. Like that post just made my day. Made me so so happy that I belonged to an era when kids watched such empowering stuff.

I’ve always felt that when we talk about the LGBT community, we completely forget about the ‘T’ in it. It’s always like “I have a gay/bi/lesbian friend and am very cool with it, but am still not sure about the transgenders”. And to be very honest I still get a lot of flak for my adherence and fascination with heels. Trust me it’s very easy to just say “I accept you for being gay” but equally difficult to live with it. There’s nothing wrong about anybody wanting to wear what they wish to especially when it gives them happiness. I’ve lately been coming across this categorization of gay men as “straight-looking and straight-acting” and the “feminine ones” more often by gay men themselves. I’m still not sure if the categorization is a problem, but the common hatred for effeminate men is a big NO-NO! A lot of people do this and I find it ridiculous. Even more ridiculous when homosexuals do this. I mean it is already difficult to make the straight people accept us, and you are being super-insensitive by not standing by your own people. Acceptance will come only when we blend in. Not when we make multiple groups and then keep discussing how difficult the world has been to us inside that same group. I completely support the fact that such queer communities are very important. I got my share of peace when I joined one of these. I love how I can go to such queer community meetings and feel at home. There’s a completely different vibe altogether. Everybody is happy, everybody’s all cheerful. It feels extremely good when you meet someone who’s been through the same shit. The discussions that take place are equally important. But not forever and ever. I really hope that we can someday reach out to more people not just like us but also the heterosexual people who are generally unaware of what’s going on in this ‘parallel foreign’ land of the Queers.

This one’s actually a very complex concept. When I fail at something, I do want someone to console me and tell me that it is completely fine to fail. But I also don’t want to hear that all the time. For once I want someone to tell me that I FAILED! I need to buck up ’cause there are so many people who’re better than me. This is where “You never win a silver, you always lose a gold” thing comes in. Pretty brutal eh?

Okay so I started writing this piece because I came across something super-frustrating that people do. I mean like why on earth would you ever do that?! Liam Payne’s (yes he’s very cute ^_^) nude pictures are doing the rounds on Internet also leading to people speculating about his sexuality. This is like so not done! And when he tweets something like:
“I’m 100% not homophobic. But I’m also 100% not gay so when somebody says I am I’m gunna say I’m not which does not make me a homophobe”

people go “OMG! He’s sucha homophobe”. I mean dude! You need to shut the eff up. Even I do not like being asked by my acquaintances (who’re not aware of my sexuality) about my girlfriends again and again. And I’ve been asked this question since I was like 5 or so. It is really frustrating. It’s not like I hate straight people or anything, but then if I am gay, I’d prefer being understood like one. Why do we have to keep speculating who is what? Why can’t we just let people be? In fact why do we even have all these different “labels”. What’s worse is that someone’s doing this to degrade his image in the public eye. Something that was so prevalent when I had joined college an year back. Almost every other guy’s Facebook account was being hacked with people writing “I am gay” on his wall. You need to know that gay people exist and associating any man with gay men does not make them less respectable. They’re all simple humans with different tastes. Some like Jack, some like Jill, some like both and some like neither. The world will be so much better when every individual out there would no more be affected by being associated to the queer community and women. Because no gender is inferior and femininity and weakness are not interchangeable. That is what “The Effeminare” is all about. 😉

I’ve recently had this realization of sorts and I’m really happy to have been able to understand this finally. There is absolutely no one on earth who’s going to be as good to you as your parents. And am like so not trying to act as the perfect son to my parents, because am not. They might seem mean at times and might seem to be the most frustrating set of people, (don’t tell me you haven’t felt that even once) but trust me on this, there’s no one coming to your rescue when you’re all caught up in your life and need to find a way out. So from the next time on, you better be good to your mummy-papa. 😉 

Another thing. It is so so important to stand by the decisions we make and not be all impulsive. If I made a decision that I didn’t wanna do something then I so need to stick to it and calm down. Just because you see someone doing it and feel like “Maybe I should’ve done that, ’cause that looks so much cooler than what I do” does not give you the right to give up. Remember that when you made a decision, God stood by you and made you do it because that was going to get you somewhere better. And no matter how bad the situation is today, it will only get better. Peace in. 🙂 

2 Replies to “*Jack for Jill and Everything in Between*”

  1. ” For once I want someone to tell me that I FAILED! I need to buck up 'cause there are so many people who're better than me. “

    I have complete faith that if I “fail” at something (or someone) I'll receive another chance to try again. Question is: no matter how successful I may appear to some, others will judge me a failure.

    Long ago, I learned, “I'll do my best. When my best seems to be lacking according to someone else, not my problem.” No one will ever know – including myself – all there is to know about anything to make a judgment about any one or any thing.

    In the end, unconditional love means loving every soul – right where they're at – perfect as they are.


  2. Ah Soul! You always make me think so much. Took me a while to comprehend that. And that's actually very true. But that is what I was talking about. I should know that the way I am, is the perfect me. It's just that sometimes when someone tells me that am not good enough, that acts as a driving force and helps me work harder. Sometimes it also strengthens my self-belief. More like “If he/she thinks am not good enough, then am gonna make sure I am good-enough”. 🙂


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