Un-Fair and Lovely

I think there are already so many people who’ve written about this and spoken about this that I don’t think I can really add much to it or write something better than what has already been written. But recently a lot of it has happened to me and I really felt the need to write about this. It’s unfortunate that we live in a kind of society where due to some reason we just assume that the dark-skinned people are somewhat less efficient than their fair counter-parts. It’s always like I have to put in that extra effort to make myself more visible in a class. I do agree that a lot of the girls might have had far more difficult experiences than guys, especially because of this notion of “Only fair girls are good girls”. But I guess it’s more general than we think it is, at least in India.

Courtesy: http://www.blacklabelsociety.com

      I remember this one incident of when I was very young, like 8 or 9 years old. I don’t belong to a family of milky-white skinned people. So we were this group of people who were always kinda looked-down upon. My mother lived in a joint family where my other two Nana ji’s  family had more white than brown colored people. And I think it saddens me furthermore when I see that it’s still happening. So yeah, getting back to the incident. My Nana ji or Ajaa (as I call him) were finding a match for my mum’s sister or my aunt. I remember multiple incidents of people around me asking her to use these fairness products and some stupid tele-shopping product to lighten her skin color. She used to use multiple face packs before sleeping, and now when I think of it, I feel pathetic about the kind of things she had had to go through. There’s this mentality that you either have to be white or study extremely well to be able to be a perfect candidate for marriage. I mean eff this mentality. Like just cut the crap and breathe in. Marriage is not the ultimate destiny! I absolutely hate it when I go back and all these people around me be like, “You’ve grown darker. You don’t look good anymore.” Not that I hardly give a shit to this shit, but I am human and it’s kinda little demeaning to me and does affect my self-esteem. And this very recent incident where a mum of my friend was like, “Anwesh! Tu inna kaala sa ho gaya hai. Ajeeb sa lag rahaa hai“. I mean Urghhh! Seriously! -_-

Even among friends. I’ve got that so many times. Like, “You guys make a good mono-chromatic couple”. I don’t know about the straight people in general, but for gay men, when you’re out and about and are searching for a date, it’s like, “NO Dark-Chocolates”. I mean just take your effed up mind and put it back into the closet you got it from. Lock it in and throw the keys into the sea. Just go do that!

      And I actually find it funnier when I come across people who be like, “I toh love dark people more than I love the white ones.” The thing is, you don’t have necessarily say things like I like black people more than white people to please me. You can love them equally, and just learn to be less judgmental about it. It’s actually worse when you’re at school. I had this friend who was dark-skinned and there was this teacher who went, “Oh My God! You scored so well. I really didn’t think you were so good at it.” And this was almost like when half the year had come to an end and she had already taken note of all the white kids. That friend of mine had been performing exceptionally well. Just the fact that she was black took her like half an year to make an impact. There’s already so much racism happening around the globe. Ab intra-racial discrimination bhi karoge toh kaise chalegaa? I think we can like so so fix this. It’s just that we need to edit our minds a little. There’s no bleaching product on earth that would make you go milky-bar ever. SO stop wasting all that money on Fairness products. And don’t you dare be like, “I only want a ‘fair and lovely’ girl for my son”. Keep calm and love all colors. 

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