That is the situation of my mind for almost an year now. Or should I say since I turned “eighteen”.
There is a strange longing within me. I do wanna date. For less than an year now, the above questions have completely taken over my mind. And there is absolutely no solution that I’ve been able to find. The problem is I think a lot. I don’t know if I could ever casually date people. I like the concept of being in love. Having someone to bank upon when you’re in trouble. Having someone to cuddle with. With the latter one being my top priority. Sometimes I like making myself believe that I’m the ultimate relationship adviser (who has had no prior experience in any sort of dating). Yes, I do advise people and I don’t know why. May be because they ask. Honestly we all love advising. We all tell people what we’re supposed to do, with only some of us being able to follow them in reality. When my friend found her love on the Internet I asked her to back off from revealing anything confidential. But I now realize that I won’t be able to follow all of what I had mentioned her. Because I’d be in love and isn’t love also about trust? So if you trust him/her you’d obviously be tempted to reveal him/her the little secrets of your life. Though I don’t know if virtual relationships can actually take any substantial shape. After all they’re “Virtual”! So yeah getting back to my longing for a relationship. I’m in a position where even I don’t know if I’m actually in one. Sometimes I feel like I’m in one and sometimes I feel like I’m not. When I’m in all my senses I’d like to believe that I’m not in a relationship. This is silly but true. I think I should just let go. Let things happen to me instead of planning it. After all as they say; “Don’t find love. Let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall“.
I don’t know if this happens to everybody, but I tend to have a crush on every other cute guy I meet. Extra points for guys who speak well. I hope I find the right guy some day and hopefully well before am 30. Phew! This is exhausting.
I face a similar kind of dilemma when I trim my beard. “How much of it should I trim?” Honestly I feel almost nude when I get the entire thing trimmed. But I still do it all the time. As in the questioning thing. Never-mind! Let me know in the comments section if you go through any such confusions. I’d be glad to here from you all.
Learning to bridge the gap between you and your evil and shaking hands with it is the ultimate way out of any problem. Remember when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.