Courtesy: wiki.uiowa.edu

    One of the major reasons why I started writing this blog was so that I could keep a track of all the things that I have been able to learn from my experiences which might help me in some or the other way to elevate the stature of my life. And that is definitely only one of the many reasons. I’ve learnt to look at life as a series of examinations. Every exam with a set of questions, the answer to which would help me grow as an individual. The day before while I was juggling between Instagram, Facebook, Google plus, Whatsapp and the more recent Kik, I felt that I was so taken over by the thought of how people perceive me, that I have completely forgotten the way of leading a happy human life.The inventors of these apps and social networking sites have like so hit the right cord. It’s like a mind game. Am so blown away by how they have become so important to my existence. I have actually become a slave to the gadgets we’ve made. But I don’t blame the gadgets. Nor do I blame the Social Network. It is places like these where sometimes the mis-fits and the out-castes find hope and companionship. In fact the reason I could come out was also after I found one of my sister’s colleague on Facebook who was out and proud.

Courtesy: wiki.uiowa.edu

    I wake up in the morning and am like, “Let me switch on the WiFi first. ” But it has now started getting annoying. I was much more secure as an individual when I didn’t have any of these. I liked how my holidays used to be. I loved how we’d all wake up on Sunday mornings to read the newspapers and watch the hour long mini series on Television. I used to love being connected earlier, but I’ve come to realize that they’re only illusions. And I love illusions. We all do. I always make sure am unaffected by my number of followers on Instagram. But unfortunately I am. I hate it when people follow to eventually un-follow. And that is the silliest thing ever. It’s ridiculous. How should it matter who’s following me on Instagram or Twitter?  All these random people whom I’d perhaps never meet affect my life in all these ways that I’d never like anybody to influence me. I do miss the way I’d keep painting the entire day during holidays earlier. But then, yeah I must move on. I must learn to accept the changes and work upon making things the way I always wanted them to be.

    I  love how they make me feel as if I’m friends with half of this world. But I still can’t name all the people who live next-door. I loved how it made me feel I had a boyfriend whom I had only Whatsapped and Facebooked. Never met but we were in a relationship! I feel like an idiot now. I have seen all those episodes of Cat-Fish and I love Nev Schulman but I still could’t help but believe a guy who’d message me once in a blue moon. It’s like I’ve made a whole lot of mess out of my life. After all we are the celebrities on Facebook. It’s all about me and how cool my life is on Facebook. We’re all feeding upon how the world perceives us. Sure it is that the Social Network has also given a lot of us the much needed ego-booster. But I still can’t over-look the way some part of it has started bothering me. I think I need to take some time out and get a life. And this time, “more REAL than VIRTUAL! “. 

||Guy Crush & The Beard Chronicles||

Should I or should I not? Is it too early or is it too late? I should start dating, man! I must. The eff!! Am getting old. I’m going on a dating site right now. That is how it is supposed to be. Haven’t you seen High School Musical? Or the more recent Glee? They all date. But wait a second. What if it’s too early? What if I miss out on the more important ‘me’? What if I mess up with my studies? But I do want to date a guy.

That is the situation of my mind for almost an year now. Or should I say since I turned “eighteen”.

    There is a strange longing within me. I do wanna date. For less than an year now, the above questions have completely taken over my mind. And there is absolutely no solution that I’ve been able to find. The problem is I think a lot. I don’t know if I could ever casually date people. I like the concept of being in love. Having someone to bank upon when you’re in trouble. Having someone to cuddle with. With the latter one being my top priority. Sometimes I like making myself believe that I’m the ultimate relationship adviser (who has had no prior experience in any sort of dating). Yes, I do advise people and I don’t know why. May be because they ask. Honestly we all love advising. We all tell people what we’re supposed to do, with only some of us being able to follow them in reality. When my friend found her love on the Internet I asked her to back off from revealing anything confidential. But I now realize that I won’t be able to follow all of what I had mentioned her. Because I’d be in love and isn’t love also about trust? So if you trust him/her you’d obviously be tempted to reveal him/her the little secrets of your life. Though I don’t know if virtual relationships can actually take any substantial shape. After all they’re “Virtual”! So yeah getting back to my longing for a relationship. I’m in a position where even I don’t know if I’m actually in one. Sometimes I feel like I’m in one and sometimes I feel like I’m not. When I’m in all my senses I’d like to believe that I’m not in a relationship. This is silly but true. I think I should just let go. Let things happen to me instead of planning it. After all as they say; “Don’t find love. Let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love because you don’t force yourself to fall, you just fall“.

    I don’t know if this happens to everybody, but I tend to have a crush on every  other cute guy I meet. Extra points for guys who speak well. I hope I find the right guy some day and hopefully well before am 30. Phew! This is exhausting.

    I face a similar kind of dilemma when I trim my beard. “How much of it should I trim?” Honestly I feel almost nude when I get the entire thing trimmed. But I still do it all the time. As in the questioning thing. Never-mind! Let me know in the comments section if you go through any such confusions. I’d be glad to here from you all.


Learning to bridge the gap between you and your evil and shaking hands with it is the ultimate way out of any problem. Remember when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.